The Worn-Out Woman - are you Embodying too much Masculine Energy?

Updated: Jun 27, 2020

​​​​So many women come to see me feeling tired, worn out, exhausted and nothing like the juicy, vibrant woman they want to be.

They have lost their mojo

Almost always, it comes down to the same thing: they are striving in their masculine energy!

  • Doing

  • Achieving

  • Being productive

They are overcommitted, overconnected, overburdened, and overwhelmed ... and then dropping into bed at night exhausted.

These women push for years, running on adrenaline and fumes

and if they keep going this way eventually something has to give​

If you listen to your body when it whispers….you won’t have to hear it scream.”

​As Women we find ourselves juggling many roles!

We are taking control of the direction of our lives, finances, careers and relationships. The problem is - meeting the demands of these roles has required us to step out of our natural feminine essence and embody more and more masculine energy.

So let's talk more about Masculine and Feminine Energy:

Yin Yang theory works with the premise that all of life stems from a point of perfect balance. On either side of that balance you have the left and the right, the wet and the dry, the night and the day, the female and the male, the negative and the positive. Yin and Yang work together to create harmony and order in our world. When these two qualities are out of balance, resistance and ultimately disease (dis-ease) result.

The masculine and feminine energy has nothing to do with gender, and both male and female can tap into both essences. Typically, one of these energies is dominant. For most women, this is their feminine and for most men it is their masculine, but it can also be the other way around. Think of a battery, one end is negative and the other positive. It doesn’t mean that the positive end is good and the negative end bad. They are just opposite charges and they are both necessary for the battery to function.

So how do you know what dominant energy you are?

Yin/Feminine Energy

Yin is the female energy, the intuitive, creative, passionate, receptive, nurturing side of ourselves. Feminine energy is flowing and smooth. Her moves can’t be predicted or always explained. She follows her heart. She is like a river .... Sometimes quiet and patient..... Other times strong and rumbling. The feminine energy needs expression and creation. Without it, she dries up. The feminine energy also knows when it’s time to slow down and nurture new projects, ideas. When you are strong in your feminine, you have a strong connection to your body and intuition, and you are able to make decisions based on what you feel in your heart.

  • Being

  • Surrender

  • Intuitive

  • Abstract

  • Patient

  • Tranquil

  • Nurturing

  • Receptive

  • Receiving

  • Creative

  • Calm

  • Soft

  • Allowing

  • Feeling

Yang Masculine Energy

Yang is the masculine energy -- the strong, action-oriented, forceful side of ourselves that gets things accomplished. Yang energy is fiery, fast and focused. It’s outgoing, active and assertive. Yang energy fuels the hunt, the pursuit of desires.

Masculine energy is like a rock. Strong, solid & sturdy.

The masculine energy strengths are willpower, planning, problem solving, analytical, clarity, structure, logic, goal orientated and focus. He thinks in the linear mode.... he knows that to achieve C, he needs to go from A to B first. Masculine energy is more focussed on purpose. That’s why men often need to have a purpose for a conversation, a trip to the shops, and their lives.

  • Doing

  • Direct

  • Rational

  • Analytical

  • Striving

  • Rushing

  • Assertive

  • Thrusting

  • Organization 

  • Logical

  • Busy

  • Hard

  • Controlling

We all have a distinct masculine essence and a distinct feminine essence within us, although the balance of masculine to feminine varies from person to person. Sometimes we express more of the masculine and sometimes more of the feminine energy. 

Balancing these energies is crucial for achieving progress in life. A project at work will for example be a success, if you take inspired creativity (feminine energy) and channel it, with a logical plan (masculine energy).

So many people equate the feminine with weakness .... but they could not be further from the truth .... a woman in her full feminine is a powerful, magnetic creator of her desires!

A Woman Grounded in Her Feminine energy is:

  • Receptive, reflective

  • Loving, empathetic, compassionate and supportive

  • Vulnerable

  • She flows through life effortlessly

  • She knows how to surrender, be open and trusting

  • Naturally intuitive and listens to her heart rather than her mind

  • She manifests and attracts her desires easily

  • She is relaxed, open, sensual and alive

The Burnt-Out Woman

While women are clearly making great strides in the business world, there is a sense of disconnect and lack of satisfaction going on for many women. Today, we live in a society where the traits of the masculine energy are overvalued and women have to become more masculine in order to succeed.

The often ego-driven corporate office culture is very much a high masculine energy environment, where Women have to become more competitive, assertive & logical. We disown aspects of our Feminine to avoid being seen as needy or weak.

When a woman attempts to express herself using the masculine based model eventually she finds herself feeling tired, anxious and depressed.

When Women are more in their masculine energy ( that is: doing, achieving, being competitive and logical) it leads to a release of a stress hormone called cortisol which blocks puts their nervous systems on ' high alert' and ultimately leads to - stress, burn-out, feeling stuck, obesity, fluctuating hormones, low fertility rates, adrenal fatigue & depression.

Signs you may be in 'Masculine Overdrive'

  • You feel disconnected from yourself, your body and your relationships

  • You are exhausted and tired from the constant hustle

  • You are on the verge of burnout

  • You are unable to RECEIVE

  • You are constantly doing & planning and your mind is anxious

  • You are goal driven without feeling into the desire

  • You numb your emotions ( you overeat/overdrink/overshop/overwork to numb out)

  • You feel confused about who you are or what you really want

  • You have a 'hardness' about you ... you have lost your softness

  • You have lost your sense of intuition

  • You are over critical and judgemental

  • Your life feels unbalanced

  • You are experiencing relationship problems

  • You are gaining weight

  • You have health issues

If you identify with any of these, it’s possibly a sign that your feminine need to be expressed more. Feminine energy doesn’t necessarily mean makeup, lip gloss or strappy sandals, it goes deeper than that.

Some tips for you to cultivate more Feminine Energy

  • Move Your Body: Feminine energy is all about flow. When a woman’s body is in a stagnant state, emotions get stuck. Try: walking, stretching, yoga, or dancing. Walk from your hips and belly

  • Breathe: We know that the feminine essence is activated through the belly, hips, and pelvis— lie down on a bed or lounge ( where you won't be disturbed for 10 minutes) and practice taking a breath that drops low into this region. On your first few breaths, become aware of your hips, belly, and pelvis becoming full and awakened. When you breathe in, your belly will expand as it fills with air, and when you breathe out, your belly muscles will contract as they squeeze the air out. Keep your attention on your belly muscles as you continue to breathe. On your next few breaths, soften your shoulder area, and let go of any tension there. On the next few breaths after that, soften your heart area, and let go of any tension there. On your next few breaths, soften your throat and relax your jaw. Dropping your awareness to your lower body and softening your upper body keeps your feminine essence engaged.

  • Laugh: Laughter softens us and allows us to be more present and therefore receptive.

  • Have girlfriends only time: Share and uplift each other, give and receive support and share wisdom and advice.

  • Cultivate BEAUTY: Create more room for beauty around you

  • Intuition: Our intuitive selves give us highly accurate guidance that informs our choices, our life-direction and keeps us safe. LISTEN to it and TRUST it.

  • Relax: Plan a day where there is nothing on your agenda ... ask yourself “What would my body have me do next?” Then give yourself permission to do that.

  • Own your sensuality: Do you even know how you like to be touched? What smells do you love? What do you love to look at? What music do you love? Bathe yourself in all the things that excite your senses. Give yourself the gift of sensuality.

  • Do what brings you pleasure

  • Nurture your body. Eat healthy foods, rub essential oils on your skin, take a bath. Just engage the senses and nurture your body in a way that feels good to you. Use jasmine or ylang ylang body oil

  • Dress like a woman: When we wear a skirt the energy from the earth comes up in a spiral vortex into our sexual organs and regenerates us. The sway of a skirt creates gracefulness that keeps us in our feminine flow. Throw out your old greying underwear and treat yourself to beautiful sensual underwear that makes you feel good.

  • Receive: Receptivity is the essence of femininity. Whether it is a compliment, support, massage, a gift, a pedicure or having someone make a meal for you .... simply allow yourself to say “yes”. Just receive what someone is giving you and be nurtured. When someone tells you how pretty your dress is, do not be self-deprecating. Instead, just say, "Thank You!".

  • Be Creative: When our creative energy becomes stagnant, our life creations suffer, because our creative energy is the ‘fuel’ that powers our ability to create anything. Find a hobby that is rooted in creativity -- such as painting, writing, music, poetry, photography, sculpting, etc.

  • Create A Sacred Space: Create a daily ritual that allows you to connect with your divine power, express your creativity, quiet your mind, be present, and set intentions. Sacred practices like meditation, journaling, lighting candles, or listening to music awakens and nurtures the feminine.

  • Feel Your Feelings: Many of us have been conditioned to hide our feelings. Feminine energy is all about feeling, expressing, and allowing. When emotions are blocked, feminine energy cannot flow. Be vulnerable and allow yourself to feel your feelings, without judgment.

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